Princess Zelda done got her ass in trouble yet again! Why can't she just sit at home and make some pie!? Well, this time around, Link seems to be a mute and has to employ an interpreter in order to speak for him and act as guidedog and friend. The new employee takes the form of a fuzzy ball with two sets of wings.
Now that's no joke! Mr. T would probably laugh at this game and pity it, calling it a fool. He would also promise to reign pain down on the developers who have feminized the franchise in such a heinous fashion. But then again, speaking of fashion, Mr. T also wore purple leg warmers in the 80's, I have proof.
So this time around, this new Zelda adventure takes place on the Nintendo DS. The game designers decided that using the D-Pad is too 2006 and instead have you using the stylus to move a nicely cell-shaded link around the screen and sliding the stylus this way and that to use your main and secondary weapons (You know.. sword, bombs, boomerang, arrows, etc).
Now I know. I KNOW! You're thinking to yourself: "This is the worst idea since tornados in can." And if I didn't try it for myself, brothers and sisters, I would be apt to agree with you. However, it works. YES! IT WORKS!! I don't know how the designers did it, but this crazy, half-baked control idea works. Yep, it blew me away too.
Now, I had a little (a lot of) time on my hands to try this game out and am currently smack dab in the middle of it, so I decided to throw down a little review for you. I have loved every Zelda game that I've tried in the franchise (except, of course, Zelda 2 for the NES. That blew.) I can't say that this one is my favorite. That would be the Zelda for the Super NES. But it's certainly up there. It might be because the graphics are very nice (as nice as Nintendo 64 gets). It might be because of the unique control design. It's not because of the storyline or the dialog, since that seems to be made for a 6 year old to giggle about. I can't put my finger on what specifically it is about this game that I do enjoy so much but it does have my dumb ass leading Link via the stylus for hours on end.
The puzzles in this game are not hard. They've actually all been pretty damn easy so far. I don't know if the designers weren't trying very hard, or they were aiming at an audience that don't have as many years under their ever-expanding belt, or perhaps they didn't want me throwing my DS into a wall and then defecating on it. In fact, I'm guessing it's number 3. So each main stage is a castle or dungeon or whatever you want to call it. And the stage is made up of multiple levels. You know, like all Zelda games. And like all Zelda games, you have to figure out how to cross a bridge by touching switches, or make switches light up at the same time, blow some candles out (using your actual mouth, blowing into the microphone) and battling some way-too-easy bosses using way-too-easy pattern attacks. Now, having said that, you would think this game would be done in a few hours. But this, sadly, is not the case. I have been in this game for over 12 hours and I feel as though I am only halfway there, if even.
You have to collect these power gems, which somehow connect to some power spirits or something fruity like that. My memory is shot from family-produced holiday food and 6+ cups of high octane coffee per day for the last week. But once you collect enough power gems (spirit gems?) of each kind, you gain that spirit's power and use it for your own. Sounds easy enough right? Well, you have to take these power gems as you collect them to some power fairy or something (I'm getting keen to the Japanese style of femininity in all aspects of their lives). So I took what I thought was a killer amount of gems to this dame, only to be told I'm doing good, but I need like 6 more, or something. Frustrating, to say the least. But this does tell me there's a lot more game left, considering how much I've covered already.
Oh, a large part of this game is also travelling by boat to random places on your map. There are 4 sections of a sea map (NW, NE, SW, SE) that you can travel to, and you use your stylus to plot a course, and the ship's captain who is also an NPC in the game, takes you there. While travelling you have to battle sea creatures wih your cannon. You also have to (yes, you are reading correctly) jump your boat over enemy obstacles. Apparently there's a way to warp from place to place by drawing some crap on a tablet with your stylus, but I still have to meet some golden frogs and shoot them with my cannon to get their attention and draw correctly for them to warp me in a whirlpool or a typhoon or something. WHAT?! YEAH!!
One thing I really liked about this game is the ability to use your stylus to do so many things. You trace the path of your boomerang with it, you draw stuff on your map (like you can mark where treasures are), solve riddles by plotting out your map with it, you can hit enemies by tapping them, make circle attacks by making circles around Link, pick up stuff by tapping it, throw stuff, etc. Nintendo programmers continue being innovative with DS interaction and I like it!
All in all, I would suggest buying this game. The graphics are very nice (though the FMV sequences show lots of N64-style graininess on the polygon skins). The control is unique and does not get tiresome. The levels are somewhat challenging, although thus far, I have not worried that I will not be able to complete one going into them. The bosses are a little too easy, which I would consider a weakness in this game. Dialog is not too lengthy which is nice. The NPCs tell you what you need to know and send your ass on your way. The game could use a bit more humor (as in Link-deprecating humor from NPCs) HAH! A deprecated link. I'm funny.
I give this game 4 out of 5 bananas.
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